i think all long-time readers know that i've been saving for an iphone. actually it might be more pertinent to say "well, who isn't?"
let's face it, an iphone with a good contract is going to be a pretty penny, all upfront. this has led me to have to compromise and balance some things, among them my yoga classes.
there are places in nyc where you can get "budget" yoga. unfortunately, this means you also get budget teachers.
for example, yesterday and the day before. i went to classes at the same place – where my attempt to do yoga often seems to interfere with the "teachers" attempt to lead group exercise – the classes can scarcely be called real yoga, i'm afraid.
by chance both of these classes were led by the same new "teacher," a 20-ish woman with a voice like broken glass who has yet to learn the difference between projecting and screaming. as we were all assidously breathing through baddha utthita parsvakonasana, she explained to us how important it was to hold this pose, as "the psoas is the largest joint in the body, where we keep a lot of tension."
i couldn't help but laugh so hard i nearly fell outta my bind. the psoas joint!
ok, so the girl has graduated from a supposed 200-hr. program and doesn't know the difference between a muscle and a joint. i think even an aerobics instructor who'd taken one of those weekend yoga "certification" courses would be better than this.
but i let it go. taking classes at this studio is hard because the low cost and location draw a lot of frankly mentally ill people.
at that same class a hysterical woman placed her mat at the very front and spent the majority of time in a strangely heaped sort of balasana weeping and moaning quite loudly. she was actually shaking on her mat; i finally turned to the "assistant teacher" and begged her to call bellevue because this girl was presenting major symptoms.
but of course the teachers did nothing. there's another lady often seen at this studio whose behavior is also quite irregular – she'll leap up abruptly in certain poses and thrash her arms about or sing loudly for a phrase or two in the middle of a pose and then rush pell-mell thru the lines of mats to lock herself in the studio bathroom – this is just what goes on there.
the second amusing incident with this teacher happened friday when she came over to me in a pose and encouraged me to "extend the crown of my neck." again, i couldn't help but giggle.
thank heavens the iphone will be out soon. i can pay for the phone and the contract and then start over at eddie stern's.