Wednesday, September 12, 2001


let me take this moment to thank everyone who has written and called to express their concern, and for those of you who wanted to write, email or call, but couldn't because the phone lines are a little messed up here. i love you all too.

after the collapse of the first tower, our view here near the promenade in brooklyn was obscured by a huge cloud of white smoke and dust. the wind was blowing mainly toward staten island. the spanish-speaking workmen who were painting my apartment immediately came to sit and watch CNN with us. we alternated between looking out at the billowing cloud and the tv.

suddenly we realized it was 2pm. we had been staring in shock at the tv for about 4 hours. i posted on the blog and then tried contacting my boss, my coworkers. the painters all live in the bronx. we thought they might stay with us but they wanted to try to get home, so they left at 2:30pm. they did not come back today. although some subway trains are running, transportation is still difficult and mayor rudy guliani asked everybody to stay home anyway.

as the afternoon wore on, the cloud increased and turned black. the wind changed and the burning smoke began to come our way. at about 6:40 we heard the first military jet fly over us; they have been flying sporadically over the city since, and some helicopters can be seen up and down above the east river.

my boss, who had to walk for hours and hours to get home to long island, finally contacted me. we don't know the status of our building, 22 cortlandt, which is on the corner of dey and church, directly across from the south tower and the area with the fountain. excuse me, where the south tower and the fountain were.

i went out this morning and it's a beautiful clear day. we no longer smell any smoke, but see a large white cloud billowing on the skyline still. here in brooklyn, there is almost no traffic. many people are walking around down to the promenade and back, quiet and dazed. i've never seen such a quiet day in new york. in many ways, it would be beautiful end-of-summer morning - -except.

last night, frankly, i couldn't go to sleep. i couldn't stop seeing the people falling from the tower. finally at 1:30 am i took something to help me sleep.

at 10 am, rudy guliani closed his press conference by vowing to rebuild the world trade center. i think that surprised everyone. "we will rebuild. the skyline will be whole again. we don't know exactly what it will look like or what it will be, but we will rebuild the world trade center."

i for one would be pleased to see them replace the world trade center with a new building; it should be the tallest building in the world. part of the plaza should be a memorial park to the people of morgan stanley, the firemen, all the others murdered in this horror. i normally ate lunch every day at the fine and shapiro deli in the mall in the basement of the north tower; on monday afternoon i took out a chicken sandwich, bought lingerie at victoria's secret, picked up some face cream at the sephora, and then browsed quickly in the borders books.

all the people who worked there; all the people i normally saw sitting to catch the sun around the fountain in the plaza. vanished. so terrible.

at the same time, it is heart-breaking to see events at the pentagon, to hear the sad fate of so many there, to see the fire they can scarcely control. unimaginable. i don't know what to say. . .

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