Sunday, May 05, 2002


bread: the staff of life, the stuff of laziness. . .

i'm in love with this charming tradition, where a little english village pastor tosses bread from the steeple to the people below. it's in accordance with an early 19th century bequest to distribute bread to the poor during the annual festival. . .

naturally i'm not so thrilled at sara lee's latest marketing innovation, for those to lazy to lift a knife -- crustless bread. as if most supermarket thin-sliced bread had any real crust to begin with? the american food industry continues to infantilize children and adults alike. doughy, chewless products that can be gummed and swallowed, without real nutrition or taste. . . what is this mass? bread it ain't.

i suspect their next big idea will be a pudding-like concoction of this gelatinous, spongy stuff all cubed up, soaked in flavored irradiated milk, maybe mixed with a jammy-type substance. you could eat it with spoon or squeeze it from a tube. it wouldn't be a solid, and it wouldn't be a liquid. something between a snack and a beverage. all it needs is a neon package and a cartoon character. . .clearly i need to approach some mega-conglomerate with this idea now!

real bread, dear readers! please, bake and eat your own real bread. . .

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