Monday, April 05, 2004


paging the soul of robert nelson, part ii

"the united states is not against improving [coffee] quality, but they want it to be more flexible and to be enforced on a voluntary basis."

so diplomatically explains i.c.o. chief nestor osorio. long-time bccy readers know that this whole issue of the u.s.a. rejoining the i.c.o. and improving coffee quality has been one of my little pet gigs for quite some time. . .

but let's be honest here. "the united states" doesn't have any position on this at all. the position of this administration is completely derived from the lobbying of the so-called "big four" multi-national coffee roasters: sara lee, kraft, nestle, p&g.

these are responsible for stuffing robusta and low-grade, no-quality trash java, or what should be called only "coffee-by-products," into the mostly undrinkable stuff you see on the supermarket shelves.

long-time readers may recall my famous grade 8 coffee pic. that black nasty stuff on the right is what the big four are shoving off on consumers right now! and it has to stop!

the nicer stuff on the left is the minimum of what the law should allow, not that that's such great quality either, actually. part of re-joining the i.c.o. means adopting new quality standards that would require such really junk joe to be labeled mere "coffee-by-products."

and who does the big four's lobbying? the national coffee association, headed by that dapper silver beelzebub in a handmade suit, robert nelson. i've paged his soul before, but apparently i wasn't able to interrupt his golf game. . .his bespoke loafers hide his hooves too well!

it's robert nelson who has largely gone before congress -- all oil, cash, and smiles -- to say that of course to help alleviate the world-price depression known as the coffee crisis the u.s.a. should re-join the i.c.o.

but naturally we should be able to do it in such a manner as to maximize the profits of the big four, right? which means no serious improvement in quality rules, only "voluntary, flexible" suggested guidelines.

which means the big four intends to sell you, the average coffee lover, more junk for ever higher prices in the future.

since i'm not in the coffee industry, i don't have to make nice to the sellers of this trash coffee like nestor does today.

which is why i urge consumers to continue to monitor the i.c.o. situation, as well as educate themselves about the coffee crisis. joining the scaa's consumer membership program to enjoy all its fun benefits is a logical next step, too. (that's a way to make a difference and have a good time as well!)

and finally, to drink more specialty coffee, the delicious high-quality coffee that you find at the mermaid, independent local coffee shops, and your local neighborhood coffee roaster or retail bean store.

as for the stuff you buy in cans at the supermarket? fuggedaboudit! as we say in bklyn. . .as for you, robert, i'm singing my heart out to your soul once again.

if you want to promote and increase coffee consumption, as i know you do, you won't be able to do it peddling low-quality garbage. and refusing to take a stand that will actually help the struggling coffee farmers and workers is truly a mistake.

i'm begging you, big guy: have a change of heart. support re-joining the i.c.o. in full, including the adoption of the proposed quality rules. oh, and tell your clients if only for p.r. purposes to start giving a hoot about the crisis.

this means more than token usages of sustainable or fair-trade coffee, thank you very much.

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