Sunday, August 01, 2004


conventions, not scaa

i rarely have a lot of time to play with the news, as long-time readers probably have figured out -- i spend most of time standing on my head or, like marge simpson, ensconced pondering "recipes you can read in bed."

however i was amused to see at one point the various media people busily interviewing themselves as they complained about how bad the coffee was at the recent convention in boston. it was possibly the first time i ever felt sorry for those narcissistic cable chat 'hos -- oops, did i say that?

thus i can happily report -- and this is the extent of bccy's "blogger political coverage" -- that at the convention in new york, the coffee will be superb. because the l'oreal laddies and botoxed commentators will be drinking don schoenholt's gillies coffee from his own brewers!

i'm not sure what blend yet, tho'. if i find out, i'll post it so those of you who share that persuasion can drink along with the delegates at home. . .

i've been thinking for a while of finally just coming out and posting on basic yoga class etiquette. it used to exist, even 2 years ago.

lately, however, it seems to have vanished, among new and more experienced students alike. sometimes even the teachers ignore it.

i should really make a formal list, but off the top of my head, in as light and humorous a tone as i can muster:

  1. respect savasana -- no talking, leaving loudly in the middle, shouting in the hallway outside while waiting for the next class etc. and teachers should also be quiet. please don't chat about whatever all thru my 10-minute meditation, thank you very much.

  2. enter and leave the room with respect -- turn off your cell phone and take off your shoes. i have to put my face on that floor.

    also, if you come late to class and enter during the chanting, please stand quietly to the side or sit down in the back. the teacher will find a place for you in just a minute.

    if there's a space up front, take it when the chant is finished. it's quite rude to expect the last 2 rows to all move to make space for you because you can't be bothered to arrive to class on time.

    if you have to leave early, please tell the teacher in advance, and station yourself so you can make a mouse-quiet exit during savasana.

  3. do the yoga class -- during yoga you're so involved in your own practice that's it's rare to notice what others are doing. but it is distracting when the person next to you comes to a vinyasa class but does their own kundalini routine, and rude to the teacher to boot.

    sure modify the poses, do the yoga that's right for you: but if you want something radically different, go there, please.

    likewise, try to do the poses as the teacher instructs them. why are you sitting there on your tush while the rest of the class does handstand?

    if you can't do handstand for a physical reason, do viparita karani, etc. or practice the prep. but it's very rude to the teacher to just ignore the class when you don't like a pose.

  4. personal hygiene -- if you know the class is crowded, and we're gonna be mat-to-mat, please take a bath earlier in the day and make sure your pedicure is decent. i don't want to talk about the feet i've had in my face recently; it's just too gross.

    men who can't bear the pedicure thing could at least give their feet a quick wipe in the bathroom before class. moist towellettes are a big help here.

  5. vague modesty in clothing -- sure we have these hot yoga bods, and so go ahead and wear the little outfit. i do; we are exercising, among other things, after all.

    but please ladies, in your display of low-cut yoga pants, don't wear the high-waist thong. as it is in crowded classes when you bend over next to me, i know you too well.

    i shouldn't also know your underwear choices and size. also gentlemen, avoid the bikram-style speedo look; please wear clothing that covers, umm, enough that i would be useless describing your physical characteristics should you be involved in a celebrity assault case!

i'm sure you yoga students and teachers reading this have additions of your own that you'll be happy to share in the comments!

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