Thursday, April 27, 2006


and the mystery answer is

portion size. the question is why does this coffee recipe make me crazy?

yeah, yeah, the use of instant's a bore, too.

the particular and instantly recognizable taste of instant -- wait! US$0.25 to the first reader who recalls the proper term(s) for it -- yes! credit your own bank account if the terms cooked and hydrolyzed leapt to your lips -- would of course most likely be enough to ensure no one made this beverage more than once.

(note: ok, ok, i'll spare you the trouble of writing the email and with trembling discuss these 2 aspects of [shiver] instant/soluble coffee:

  • cooked - this is the term i most commonly hear professionals use to describe the generic instant taste. it often has a nasty sort-of caramel edge to it. we all, sadly, have experienced the sensation of instant coffee and i don't want to go there more than necessary lest it come to trouble my dreams
  • hydrolyzed - this is the horrid sort of over-brightness sometimes associated with certain brands of instant coffee. it's not pleasing, desirable, dance-in-your-mouth sparkle, or zesty snappiness. this makes your nose squinch. it's rather similar to the taste you get from massively over-extracted coffee)

anyway, the suggested portion size on above supposedly "lite" coffee beverage is 16 oz! good godson of morgan spurlock!

okay, okay, the recipe uses a lot of "nonfat" fake dairy products, which have been thickened with various kinds of industrial gums. and you still end up with 240 calories.

yikes! you know, you can blend up your own coffee kinda smoothie frap-thing, and instead of relying on expensive fake dairy stuffs, you can just use grandma's friend, pectin.

no sugar pectin (and i guess here too) has got to be in every supermarket. pectin, we know what it is; it is naturally found in apples and pears.

follow the instructions on the box, but experts at this kind of thing say to use something like 1 tablespoon pectin for 24 oz. of liquid total, or did i mention you should just follow the package directions? that these no-sugar pectins set softly is the whole point of this application.

the pectin is going to move us toward the heavier mouthfeel you would get from full-fat cream.

actually, you'll probably want to experiment until you find the amount that thickens to your own taste. with the no-sugar pectin in your pocket, you could make a better beverage (no instant!) and save even more calories like this:

1/2 c. freshly made strong coffee or 4-5 double shots of espresso
20-24 ice cubes
1 or 2 oz. da vinci sugar-free chocolate syrup (optional)
1/8 c. splenda
1/2 c. skim plus or similar fat-free milk
1 tablespoon no-sugar pectin (or follow package directions)

combine the liquid coffee with the pectin according to the package (lumpy pectin bad -- it may take a few minutes to dissolve pectin in coffee!). toss in blender or food processor. add ice cubes and remaining ingredients to said device. whirl.

check for thickness, sweetness, chocolate-yness. adjust accordingly.

btw, pectin is good fiber, apparently, so you can tell yourself this is actually a healthy treat, no just a "lite" diet junk thing.

if you can't find pectin, you might experiment with a little agar-agar (most likely to be found at your local health food store) by dissolving the powder in the fresh, hot coffee for a few minutes.

of course, you can experiment with the recipe, increasing it to make a large amount of this stuff at a time, stick it in the fridge and then have it whenever. if playing with agar-agar, watch the amount, because it can set as thick as gelatin, which isn't what we really want here. . .

i believe the concotion above has about 70 calories total, about 45 of them from the skim milk. i think you get about 10 from the pectin and 15 from the syrup.

anyway, just play around with it. you'll work out a recipe to your satisfaction quickly.

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posted by fortune | 8:22 PM | top | link to this | email this: | | | 0 comments